Posts Tagged ‘ dating over 50 ’

Dating Confidence is Important

Posted in dating over 40, Dating With Confidence, online dating, senior dating on July 8th, 2010 by Admin – Be the first to comment Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Dating Confidence is Important!

Confidence with dating is clearly an important element in finding the right partner. While it may endearing to encounter someone who is shy, it is not such fun for the shy person, who no doubt strongly wishes he or she had more self confidence.

For this reason we present today an article by a guest author which outlines a simple method to improve your dating confidence, and in fact your self confidence in general. If you want to achieve self confidence with women or men then it is well worth setting aside a little time to try the simple technique outlined in the article below.

Become Your Own Mirror – Rebuild Your Confidence
By Joanna Lindenbaum

Let’s say Geena is your friend of many years. She is a smart, creative, go-getter and beautiful to top it off – a source of admiration for many. Yet still, she confides in you, whenever she lands a major success like getting published in a popular publication or being accepted into a competitive position, she has this creeping sense of being a fraud, as if she does not deserve it, brushing it all off with “oh, it’s really nothing.”

You can hardly believe it when she expresses feelings of insecurity to you despite her many positive qualities. When it comes to her own personal life goals and dreams, you are surprised that she expresses a deep lack of confidence in pursuing them.

Do you know anyone like this?

Even though Geena may seem like an extreme example, the truth is many women come to me for coaching because they notice that despite their past successes and their many amazing qualities, they just don’t have the confidence they need in order to move forward with their soul-centered projects and goals.

Like Geena, these women are very talented, intelligent and sensitive but, for some reason, they still harbor a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy. In other words, they lack confidence. Oftentimes they feel like they are frauds at their work and in their personal lives, and are somehow essentially unable to achieve, or undeserving of the type of job or lifestyle they truly desire.

How does this happen?

Women like Geena create “failure stories” about themselves and their abilities based on both external circumstances in their lives and what they perceive other people think of them. These failure stories become strongly activated when they hit challenges or disappointments in their life. For example: if a client happens to leave them, if they don’t land the job they really want, if their partner breaks up with them, if they gain five pounds, or, simply, if they don’t feel they are living up to the standards they have set for themselves.

When you lack confidence, it affects you in many ways. It can affect your decision making skills, the types of jobs you believe you deserve and then apply for, the salary you ask for, your relationships, and even how you treat your body.

When I work with women, we very often find that their lack of confidence stems from early life experiences where they were not given the proper feedback in order to objectively see themselves. Usually influential people like parents, teachers, older siblings and mentors serve as mirrors for us in our early years, they show us what we should think of ourselves.

Confidence issues can arise from having been told by an influential person that you were just not capable of, or allowed to do, certain things. Conversely, confidence issues can be produced by having been constantly fed positive, yet too general statements, like that you were simply “good at everything.”

When you are not given accurate mirrors and reflections to help you understand what your strengths and weaknesses are, it becomes very difficult for you to assess yourself and thereby have confidence in your actual capabilities and talents. It is essential to have a strong objective sense of self in order for you to be happy and to have confidence in your ability to create a life that is aligned for you… and it is very possible to cultivate this sense of self, no matter what your previous experiences have been!

To help you with this mighty, yet rewarding, task, I would like to present you with an easy process that will help you begin to assess your own strengths and weaknesses.

1) Create a list of your strengths, talents, positive qualities, and “wins”: It is essential for you to get clear on what you are good at and what your gifts are. This list can include anything from “great at book-keeping” to “intuitive” to “great at communicating with others” to “extensive knowledge of X, Y, or Z” to “organizing a major conference with 500 attendees.”

2) Create a list of the areas in your life – inner or outer – that you sense you would like to improve: Getting clear on this is just as important as getting clear on your strengths because it allows you let go of your failure stories and focus on amping up the areas that you sense would really be beneficial to you. This list can include anything from “becoming more organized” to “strengthening my core muscles” to “becoming more informed about X, Y, or Z” to “expressing my anger appropriately.”

3) Create a list of your “weaker” areas that you are willing to accept: This is key. There is no single person that I know that is good and fully developed at EVERYTHING. It’s simply not possible. However, I find that quite often folks beat themselves up for not being good at everything, thus adding more evidence and strength to their failure story. Get clear on the things that you may not have a natural strength for, and that don’t really matter to you anyway. For example, I will most likely never be a super-star athlete, and that is ok with me. My health and care for my body are important to me, but excelling at team sports is not a priority in my life.

Once you create these lists, you will be able to objectively and powerfully assess yourself and your capabilities, providing you with an opportunity to let go of your failure story and create a new and real picture based on the sacred, incredible person that you are.

Joanna Lindenbaum, M.A., has 12 years of teaching and coaching experience. Her coaching invites women to think bigger, to embrace their power, to create more compelling and exciting goals for themselves, to become leaders, to connect to their intuition, to open their hearts, and to make it a practice of remembering how special and important they are. Her coaching philosophy centers on a deep respect for the inner wisdom that each woman holds inside of herself. By activating this inner wisdom, Joanna helps her clients achieve extraordinary success in business, career, and life. Sign up for Joanna’s complimentary “How to Overcome the 5 Most Common Obstacles to Success” at http://soulfulcoach.com/ecourse.php.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joanna_Lindenbaum
http://EzineArticles.com/?Become-Your-Own-Mirror—Rebuild-Your-Confidence&id=4612256

All you have to do now is apply these techniques to dating and your relationships with others. By doing so you will improve your dating confidence and so avoid feelings of inadequacy.



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Dating Over 50

Posted in senior dating, senior pen pals on December 23rd, 2009 by Dawn Brown – Be the first to comment Tags: , , ,

Dating Over 50
Getting Back to Dating After Fifty

Many middle aged people are pretty scared of getting back into dating. We tend to look in the mirror and see our flaws. It is hard to believe that there is somebody else out there who will meet us, and ignore the fact that we do not look like we are thirty any more. But now we have other virtues. We should understand more about relationships than we did at 30.

It is a great time to start over because we can handle dating and relationships in the way we should have handled it when we were younger! It would be great to have the body, face, and skin of a 30 year old, but would we trade that for the things we have learned? Superficial judgemets do not equal long term contentment.

Find Dating Sites for Older People

It used to be novel, but now online dating websites are normal. So many people have met their matches on a website that is is not even unique these days. One very popular website claims that 2 percent of US marriages are from meetings on their own site. And that is just from one website!

Online dating has some advantages. You can chat and email some potential new dates or friends without jumping in with both feet. You can also do some looking at your own convenience, and that makes it easier to fit some dating into your busy schedule.

I have spoken to many online daters who really enjoyed themselves. In fact, many told me that the only bad thing about finding a new relationship was that it was tough to leave all of the other new online friends they had flirted with.

The New Old Fashioned Way to Meet People

Consider activities that you enjoy now, or that you used to enjoy. Lots of us gave up some of these because we got too busy with our ex spouses and kids. Consider ways to get involved again, and this can be a great way to meet new people who like the sames things you do.

Getting involved can make you happier. You will have things to look forward to, meet new people, and make friends. Friends who like the same things that you do can be great potential dates. Even if you do not meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it will hardly be a waste of time.

How to Find Activities and Groups

Look for meetup groups in your local area. There is a website called Meetup.com which lists all sorts of groups. These range from professional interest to movies to dining out. This is a fun way to get out, and it really isn’t scary. The groups want more members, and you should find something that interests you.

Volunteering is also a great way to meet new people. You can help society, feel good about yourself, and also make new friends this way. Volunteer opportunities are everywhere. You can support a candidate, help stock a food pantry, or tutor kids at your local school.

You also need to relax. You know that you should take this slow. I think you should just start by trying to make some new friends. After all, that’s what we really want isn’t it? We just hope one of those friends turns into more than a friend.

Visit here for more Over Fifty Dating Help! We have tips, online dating sites, and meeting groups for you to explore! Click on over for Over Fifty Blogs and Chat.


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